Okay now that your heart has stopped racing. I've been looking at the cover of this Martha Stewart Wedding mag for the past two months. And even though I am dating the self described "confirmed bachelor", I secretly coveted this issue. It's not because I'm in a rush to get married. (Yes I would like to marry my beau. He is the "tops") But I was afraid of how this purchase would be perceived by others.
Background info: Eight years ago I met someone who I thought was the "love of my life" and after a few brief chats of getting married I started planning. And planning and planning. No ring in sight but I was trying on wedding gowns...argued with the man 90% of the time but I was visiting reception sites...knew deep in my heart he wasn't the one for me but I was keeping a wedding journal and designing reception themes. **sigh**
See while most little girls dreamed of wearing the white dress and floating down the aisle, I dreamed of conquering industry. I didn't know what I wanted to do for a living. All I knew was that I was going to be a CAREER WOMAN. Marriage was never on the agenda. I was too strange, too quirky, too independent to ever get married. Yeah, I might have a kid or two but marriage....BAH!!! But as soon as my ex mentioned marriage, I feel in love with the idea of a white wedding. Since I had never thought of getting married I went crazy with my lists and planner books and wedding mags. Like most "brides to be" I was obsessive. Every third word out of my mouth was wedding related. I'm the only female in my entire generation and it was a BIG deal for me to get married. It took two years and the birth of my daughter to realize my ex liked the "idea" of marriage vs. actually getting married. When it crashed and burned everyone in the family knew. So I was hesitant to pick up a bridal magazine and bring it home where someone might see it as they dropped by on a visit.
So why buy it?
Cause I love art deco and the cover just SINGS art deco! Cause I watch "Who's Wedding Is It Anyway?" like religion. (I love train wreck brides and I love a good wedding theme) Cause I love looking at wedding cakes just for their artistic value. Cause I get party theme ideas from reception photos.
Because I love this ring!!
And this ring..
And this one too!!!
And because who said I had to be engaged to enjoy a good bridal mag!!! I've bought them when I didn't have a beau. I used to buy them in high school.
And maybe because if the self described "confirmed bachelor" ever decided to give up bachelorhood for me, I'd have somewhere to start.
But even if he doesn't I can enjoy my pretty pictures.